i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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