do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
