My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize