This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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