im holly from the hills drunk
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Someone came in the potted fern
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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