There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
