Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
