so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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