I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
