Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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