i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
