whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
