Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
