Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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