He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just invented taco cereal.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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