Non-Jews are for practice
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
