yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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