you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
