I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
