I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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