I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize