Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
