I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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