Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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