I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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