I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
