i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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