if you like me you must not know who I am
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
