i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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