I can text with my tongue
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
