please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
