therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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