I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
