One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
