$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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