Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
