just come out here and I will go home with you...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
