Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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