chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
