She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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