i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
being pregnant is like rehab
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
