these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can't turn off my feet"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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