Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
