Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
