operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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