first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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