is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We left the knife in your bed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
