yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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