y did u give ur computer a hand job?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
