New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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