just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
