just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
