my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
