Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize