as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
