I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
