last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
