Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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