I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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