So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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