People in love make me want to vomit
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize