If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
